Myths of March... Can i Get Pregnant from just one intercourse

Hello zara,

I'm 16 years old and in love with an 18-year old boy. I swear he loves me very much. He always buys me all the things I like. He buys me chocolates, flowers and juice. We have been dating for one month now and we are really happy. The problem is that he wants us to have sex, but I'm afraid I will get pregnant. All my friends are doing it and they said I can’t get pregnant from just doing it once. What will I do? I don’t want to lose him and I don’t want to get pregnant either.

Maina

Maina dear,

You are welcome and I completely understand how you feel. First, you need to understand that you shouldn’t let anyone pressure you to do what you don’t want to do. Secondly, you can get pregnant from just one sexual intercourse and this is because your body system could be in the ovulation period at the time of the intercourse. If your boyfriend loves you, then he has to wait until you are ready for it.

In a relationship, love is not enough. He has to understand and consider how you feel, especially with regards to issues regarding your body. Teenage pregnancy will expose you to the social issues like dropping out of school, being a teen mother, depression, rejection, low self esteem and sometimes complications from unsafe abortion or childbirth.

It is critical that you examine your choice of friends and be sure to decide if this is what you want to do. Take care.

Zara!

Myths Of March... Wet Dreams

Hello zara,

I am a 17-year old boy in SS3. I have never had sex and my friends are really pressuring me about it. I have a girlfriend and we have never discussed sex, maybe because of the morals I grew up with. But I just don’t like to discuss it.

Just last week my friends were at it again and this time they said if I don’t have sex that the sperm will overfill inside my body then I will start vomiting semen from my mouth and I will die. How true is this? I have been having constant wet dreams since then, so I am really scared. I don’t want to die and I'm already thinking of asking my girlfriend for sex.

I love her, but not sexually considering our age and class. I don’t want her to get pregnant. I can’t be a father now. My parents will kill me. What will I do? should I ask my girlfriend?

Stan

Dear Stan,

Wet dreams are very natural with boys your age, as the phenomenon is a part of the growth and development of male sexuality during puberty. You have no need to worry about having wet dreams. Also, abstinence from sex will not kill you. In fact, it saves you from early fatherhood, involvement with unsafe abortion, chances of contracting HIV and other sexually transmitted infections, and also dropping out of school. You will not die from abstaining, and you won’t vomit semen either.

You can also need to trust this service for confidentiality and remain focused in the forthcoming exams as there is still a lot of time for you to have sex but when that time come. If you do choose not to abstain, always remember to use a condom correctly and consistently. Feel free to get in touch with me privately if you have more questions that require confidentiality.

Regards,

Zara.

Myths Of March... Painful Menstruation.

Hello Zara,

I am 15 years old and I am having the most painful menstrual pain in the world. During my period, I don’t sleep, I don’t eat and I can’t even go to school. I am in SS1 and anytime I am feeling it is time for my period, the thought of the coming pain scares me. The pain from the cramps is so bad that it leaves me in bed for 2days. I have tried all kinds of painkillers, but none works.

My girlfriend said she experienced the same thing but it stopped when she started having sex with her boyfriend. I don’t even have a boyfriend and there is nobody to have sex with me, because I am very willing to do it just for the pain to stop. Can you advice me on what to do?

Ezinne

Dear Ezinne,

Painful menstruation or secondary dysmenorrhea is not abnormal for young women who are menstruating, especially after the menarche. For some, it is severe or mild while some women don’t even experience any pain at all. Painful menstruation is as a result of the shedding of the uterine wall of a woman’s reproductive system. It has absolutely nothing to do with healing from sexual intercourse.

The first thing you can do when you start experiencing pain is to take a cup of hot tea, then you can take a mild pain killer, after which you need to place a hot water bottle on your lower abdomen. It helps to ease the effect of the shedding while stimulating the flow. Sex has never and will never stop menstrual pain. It will rather increase your chances of getting pregnant and of contracting sexually transmitted infections.

You can also take a walk as a form of exercise to help relieve the pain and possible as you grow older the pain will no longer be as severe as it is presently.

Yours,

Zara

Myths Of March.... Sex During Pregnancy.

Zara,

I am a 33-year old man and I am happily married to the love of my life. We are happy and we share everything, we are also expecting presently and that has multiplied our joy immensely. The problem is that like pregnancy comes with different body and hormonal changes, the shot it gave my wife is a high libido. My wife wants sex every minute. Just looking at me gets her wet and spilling.

But I am afraid that with the way things are now going we could harm the child. She can’t sleep if I don’t make love to her and sometimes she will even start crying in the middle of the night because of this. Am afraid I may disfigure my child in one way or the other by having sex with her. I don’t want her to remain sad during this pregnancy period but I am really scared of harming or killing the unborn child.

What will I do to solve this problem? She is beginning to feel that I am either avoiding her because she is pregnant or having an extra marital affair?

Nnamdi.

Dear Nnamdi,

Pregnancy issues or effects differ from one woman to the other. As such, what happens to one woman may or will never happen to the other. Just like the cravings are different, the body reacts and responds differently to pregnancy.

Your woman is experiencing high libido in pregnancy and you need to be very patient and understanding because she is going through some body changes. Some women feel very repulsive to sex during pregnancy, some are indifferent and some are really active since the vagina keeps secreting fluid while others are banned from sex because the pregnancy is threatening a miscarriage.

Sexual intercourse during pregnancy does not have any effect on the baby and does not affect the woman negatively in any way as long as the pregnancy is not threatened and the woman is in good health condition. As long as your woman is healthy, you can enjoy sexual intercourse with your wife from the first month till the ninth month.

It is actually recommended that men should have sex with their wives during pregnancy as this helps to stimulate the elasticity of the vagina walls and helps make way for the baby during labor. So, shake body and make your woman happy. Some men do not have this same opportunity on your platter. Don't dull.

The Empty Podium...

As we walked in for the second session of the presidential debate Sunday, my heart raced through what the experience would be like. Today na Today…

Just thinking of Mr. Change and the so-called Mr. Clueless getting to give me reasons why I should vote them was enough to grand my Sunday. We sat down and I took a look at the podiums with the symbols and acronyms of each party beautifully and clearly written on them. I imagined what it would feel like to watch the top men and women of Nigeria who wanted to be president come 28th march take the debate of their career.

People walked in and out with the room gradually getting full, the anchor introduced the presidential candidates and then came the greatest fear proven right; Mr. Change, General Muhammad Buhari was absent.

I couldn’t comprehend why someone who wants to be president refused to debate with his fellow candidates. Yet the same man was very willing to go and deliver a speech to foreigners at Chattam House in London. What exactly was he afraid of?

It was not the debate of life and the debate does not give you extra votes more or less.

The national anthem came with splendor and the floor was officially opened for Nigerians to listen. I must commend the only female presidential aspirant for her bravery and courage. It’s not every day you meet a Nigerian Woman take on five men.. No, six men.

She did not shake or stutter, she spoke to Nigerians which makes her super, stronger and smarter than Buhari. The social media also caught fire and people were talking about the empty podium. Questions like; where is Buhari? Who is representing APC? Where is the APC Presidential candidate?

I think I can come to a conclusion that Buhari is not a democrat. He is a coward and he has no respect for Nigerians and in fact despises this country.

Stubbornness has never taken anyone anywhere; actually, arrogance is even worse but I don’t want to lay the whole blame on him. What happens to all those APC members who didn’t see anyone at their podium stand to represent them at the debate?

If they felt Buhari was not sound, a representative would have made some sense and saved their faces from the embarrassment of an empty podium. I want to believe that is the type of change they want to bring for Nigerians.

I may never understand why he boycotted the 2015 presidential election debate but one day I hope that the General will give Nigerians an answer we will all buy with the change.

Their Reasons to Vote you cant Understand...

Yesterday on my way back from work, the sun was really shining out of fashion so I couldn’t help but jump in the moment I found an empty taxi. Sadly the driver couldn’t get to my destination but I found an amazing reason to get into this taxi though he was not taking me to my final destination.

“Good evening, sir, I said.

“Evening,” he replied as my eyes raced through the Buhari/Osibanjo poster and flags decorating his dash board.

“Whaoo,” I exclaimed trying to hold a discussion, “Are you voting Buhari?” I asked’.

” Sai Buhari.” he replied.

I gave him a good smile so he relaxed and I had an amazing opportunity to ask other questions.

“Oga. driver, so you like Buhari and that is the only reason you are voting him on Saturday?

“No, Madam no be say I like am be reason why I dey vote am, na the place my friends dey vote. so I no get reason why I wan vote Buhari but I dey Sai Buhari, we want change, na just the change we want. Jonathan na good man oh but we want change. I never chop government money before for my life so nobi say I fit gain anything from Buhari, all the money wey I don get for my life na me work for am so nobi anything, we just want change, I dey go Bauchi on Thursday because na there I go vote,” he replied.

I was humbled at the rate at which someone should die for someone without even knowing why he is dying. The passion he had in his voice for someone he was going to vote for without even knowing why he wanted the person to be his president.

I asked him yet another question, “Oga, but do you think that in the last 5 years that Jonathan has done very well for this country?”

“Yes,” he replied, “Goodluck has done very well but the problem is that he no advertise him work very well. People wey dey do the work no dey advertise am, for example na only people like us the drivers that know that roads have improved and the money flow in Nigeria is very good now to compare with before. Goodluck did very well but he needs advertisers to advertise him work well. Nobi only during election them go dey advertise am because they get plenty things wey he do wey I no even know until they start campaign last year. Apart from that he is a good man.”

Hmmmm, I gave a great sigh of relief, paid him and disembarkted from the taxi but entered yet another one that gave me the shock of my life.

I didn’t intend to go on with this my interview session as I entered the second taxi but his response to the wailing siren weakened my spirit and I gathered the momentum to ask him who he would be voting for come March 28.

“Goodluck, of course,” he replied. Then I pushed further by asking why Goodluck, and not Buhari?

“I am voting Goodluck because he is a Christian and he is a southerner,” he replied and that ended our discussion. I stepped down and thought aloud comparing the two taxi drivers and their responses to the questions I had asked only to come to the conclusion that;

Some people will just vote Buhari on Saturday just because they just heard the word ‘Change’ for the first time and has come to like it without analyzing and understanding the type of change the Buhari/Osibanjo ticket is bringing on board.

Some people will vote Buhari because Goodluck’s achievements were not advertised sufficiently five years before the electioneering campaign came knocking.

Some people will vote Goodluck just because he is a Christian and a southerner and not because of his potentials, the transformation agenda or the things he has done in the past.
Others for Buhari because he is a Muslim and from the north.

Whichever way votes are cast, a considerable number who will not vote just want peace to reign, and not the tension and fear that has come largely from the activities of the opposition