an adolescent Reproductive health Ambassador,
works with a leading HIV/AIDS NGO in Abuja, Nigeria.
"Stand up…" your mother is here to see you” came the voice of Ebere, the most horrible voice I have heard in the past 2 months her voice came like a roaring thunder, like a bile in my tongue causing me to feel even more nauseous. I couldn't stop wondering why she can’t be nice. No!!! I can’t pull through this with this damned woman. For God sake I think she is not just encouraging and doesn't also know her job description. I have been ill for days and haven’t been eating well though I felt so weak and hungry these days. My period has been on leave and has refused to start work in the past few weeks. My mum sure visits every now and then but sometimes I just feel like seeing no one but myself. With the very last strength left in me, I managed to stagger up and out of the room. I walked briskly like I was going to fall but I still managed to find myself and hold my feet. My mum looked deep asleep though she was awake; all her smiles were gone with the wind though she still found a way to force them out in response to mine. She is basically the only one that sticks and doesn't wither amidst all storms of life. “Hi, mum, good morning. I managed to say, my princess ‘she called, what is wrong with you? Why have you refused to let go of the past, she asked.mum you know am trying, am going to be fine soon, ok! We will pull through this together and I will be out of here soon enough. We will all be happy again.” I consoled’ .mum gave me a warm hug, one thing that gets me going this critical moment. She’s my jewel of inestimable value. She looked at me, held my hand and right there before her, I started throwing up. When I finally looked up, the look on her face scared me to death as the most terrifying question came; Olaedo, ARE YOU PREGNANT? Like an arrow soaked in the venom of a black mamba, it pierced my soul. I couldn't look up; I could not speak.cry or even blink. Mum busted into tears and I heard the word, "time up, to your cell",came the voice of Ebere. I moved back to my darkness, my silence, the very echo of my own voice. I cried for the very first time since I came to the cell. It dawned on me that my life was on a compound pendulum, that if I didn't talk as soon as possible I may lose it all. Now my mum is heartbroken, friends have taken long walks and apparently I was only left with family. Alone with my thoughts, I slept off even without opening the food.
I was woken up by cries from the general cell; an inmate just died but that wasn't new anymore. More died everyday and most times we don’t even know what day or time of the day it was. We just lived one day at a time. Tomorrow I will appear in court for the first time, for murder. I had mixed feelings and thoughts, committing suicide, carrying the baby of a rapist. I thought of my parents, my mum, my dad, my siblings and everyone I knew. In here am alone, no family or friends. Sometimes I don’t speak to anyone for days. I haven’t even spoken to my lawyer yet. My room was cold, mum wanted me to stay alone; I don’t want my baby to mix up with all those criminals she would say. But dohhh, we are all criminal. We are all in uniforms, we are all in chains and we are all in jail. I had my meal in silence and just as I was about to take a nap, my lawyer’s presence was announced. Olaedo how are you doing? “She asked”. Am fine ma.”I replied”, my name is Barrister Bola Bayo your new lawyer and you have to tell me about it all before we can face the court tomorrow. I heard you refused to talk to any of the old lawyers but you need to understand that you have been here for two months already and your silence will only activate more number of days. Please the warder you need to excuse us, I need some privacy with my client. ’Bola walked Ebere out of the room. I saw the look on her face as she walked out of the room. I took a deep sigh of relief as I watched her move her heavy body. Now Olaedo, talk to me, am all ears now, what exactly happened on that faithful day. In the most sober reflection, I began my story, the story that changed my life forever… so did you hit him in the head, ‘she asked’, Barrister I didn't hit him so I don’t know anything about the internal brain injury; ’I sobbed. Tears rolled down my face and I wiped my cheeks with the back of my palm, it then dawned on me that I was oozing seriously, I was smelling so differently; all the alluring scents from Elizabeth Arden, Victoria secrets and cupcakes from bodycology cologne were all gone. She listened to me and took note of every word I said. She encouraged me to be honest, strong and confident in court as that will boost my freedom chances with the judge.
I was found guilty of man slaughter under self defense during sexual abuse, and I was sentenced to 3 years imprisonment without a parole. I had my baby in jail and was faced with the trauma of living without her. Rainbow was not a prisoner and could not remain in jail with me, all thanks to my mum and family members. Family indeed is the greatest gift of love. She was sweet and pretty. It was my birthday and my family visited. Kelvin came with them to my greatest surprise and I was excited. I haven’t seen him in 2 years i heard he travelled out and I was in jail, that’s crazy. Wasted years!! He became a regular visitor and I got to know Sandra was married, Olu relocated and Michael was running his masters abroad. I was doing well in jail oh, but the outside world will have been a better option. My mum, Kevin and a few family members where there for me. I looked forward to my freedom and it finally came faster than I thought. I was set free, free indeed.
I was released after 3 years; of course Rainbow was 2 years old already. I came home to a surprise welcome party hosted by Kelvin. It was my first occasion in 3 years and it was worth while as I got to meet friends and family I haven’t seen in a while. Right there at the party, Kevin proposed to me, my joy knew no bounds as I accepted and was getting ready to pick up the pieces of my life again. My life started falling into place again, I went back to school, rounded up and got good job then I got married to Kevin. He led me to Christ right from my days in jail and I bet you there is no better position than the wife of a pastor, We were pastors with our different jobs and God was so merciful to us all. We had just Rainbow for a while but after two years, we were blessed with a set of twin angelic boys. My heart went afloat with joy. My husband was out of the country and we were expecting him that same day. My daughter had been down with typhoid and malaria with just my mum to take care of her as she clung to grandma’s arms when Kevin walked in and the atmosphere changed. Lots of family and church members were walking in and out of my room. Lots of bags for the kids and for me. I was asked to sleep as I was given some pain killers and I remember dreaming of having a wonderful family dinner. I slept the whole day and woke up later in the evening.
I was worried and had to ask the Doctor how my kids were doing. Your boys are fine and your daughter I doing well too. She’s responding now, her father gave her some blood so she’s picking up, the fever is low now. The doctor replied. I slowly sank into my bed without word, how could AB give blood to blood group O? That’s not possible. I thought for a while and asked the doctor, only to confirm Kevin was the same blood group with Rainbow. I busted into tears, God let this not be true please. the pain is too much for me to bear.Kevin couldn't deny it, Jide drugged me for Kevin to get laid for the first time. Jide and I had been very good friends since we got into school. it was a clique thing, him, myself, Olu, Kevin, Sandra, Funmi and Michael. I wasn't ready for anything serious since we all rolled together, it was his birthday and we all visited, had fun and partied but how I woke up in his bed was unexplained. I didn't say a word because I met Sandra in his room with Olu. i don’t take alcohol so what exactly happened to me. My thought went to and fro as I went back to my apartment that day but while I was having my bath, I noticed I had been raped and sexually abused, my pant was torn with semen all over the genitals. I lost my mind and dressed up straight back to his house. There was another fight going on already. Sasha one of the hottest girls on campus had already turned his house inside out. On seeing me they got even more deranged. Her voice tempo increased, so she is the tramp you locked me out for, oh she’s the one, Sasha asked. I looked at her and managed to mutter a WHAT? Olaedo you are a tramp, what have you come here to do, I thought you claimed to be a virgin, so what are you here for; came the voice of the one that defiled me. My brain went reverse and all i did was pick up the knife on the table and rushed over to him and stabbed him, and he started beating me blue black before suddenly he screamed holding his head then he fell. Sasha took to her heels…all my testimonies in court was like flogging a dead horse, no one believed me, I had no witnesses, no one to talk to or confide in, so I faced my music alone, I sang alone, danced alone and cheered myself alone too.
I have been living with the man who changed my story.How do I tell other women to save their marriages when I don’t have mine, I have been betrayed to the latter. Kevin laid me without a condom that faithful night, Jide died, I got pregnant, I went to jail as a criminal, he wasted 3 years of my life and gave his own life to Christ, became a pastor and converted me to Christ then married me to feel good about himself. God!!! Mba nu, this is out of it this time. Am not for his self-gratification or an object of Kevin righteousness.
The wasted years of pain, agony, labor pains, natal blues, depressions, what happens to them. How do I fix the broken heart and all those lonely moments of three solid years? Is it the lost academic year…the court sessions….my family,my peace.....
NO!!!!!!! Help!!!!! I am a born again Christian, I have paid my dues, I give and sow seeds, I pay my tithe, I pray to God and I also forgive…but living with him is like going into another jail with worse labor. Rainbow, Daniel and David are doing great in school now but Kevin hasn't stopped coming. I walked away because that is the only way out, the cross is too long for me to bear, the wrapper Is too long and the long walk to freedom Is taking years. Truth be told, I miss my marriage, I miss the man I married, I miss the family I built, I miss my happiness but you may never know how hard and painful these things could be…until you wear my shoes.
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